Sinner l Saint Killer l Hero
by Iron Matron
Summary: One Shot. Maybe. Oliver struggles with losing Felicity. And of all the titles he's had the only one that matters is the one she gave him. This just kinda poured out of my head. Hope its not too sporadic. M for adult content.


**I heard this song and it's just about perfect fit for the Arrow character analysis. But, hey, that's not exactly what I did. Here is what poured out of my head, though. Hope you like it. Please let me know. I do not have a beta; but would entertain the option is someone wanted to volunteer. I need all the feedback possible; just to know if I should keep going. This may be a one shot. **

_**DISCLAIMER:**_ I own nothing of Arrow. or Shinedown, for that matter.

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_Open: Starling Bay Docks. On fire. _

Oliver watches as Felicity sinks below the water surface. Her arms reaching for him as she is pulled into the inky black bay. He is powerless to jump in after her being pined to the dock by piles of debris. The battle continues to rage around him, but Oliver is completely focused on the whisper of blonde hair he is watching fade away as she is pulled deeper. Anxiety overwhelms him as he struggles helpless to free himself; screaming her name. Always her name. His entire world narrows to a single focus. But he knows it's already too late. He still continues to rip at his confines screaming her name.

John Diggle finds him there, minutes later, frantically struggling to excise himself from the beams and rubble. John instantly goes to work lugging huge chunks of rubble away. He observes Oliver's eyes are wide, "she was pulled under" his voice is frantic, desperate, answering the question in John's eyes.

John pauses only a moment to scans the area for any sign of her surfaced somewhere, but there is nothing. _It's been too long. _ He calculates the time a person could hold their breath. Oliver pushes the last of the debris away with extreme effort and in a single motion starts to dive into the water. John pulls him away from the edge as he continues to scream, "Felicity! Felicity!Felicity!".

**1 day later.**

John has been combing the news and reports for any word on the rescue of a young little blonde, but there is nothing. It doesn't feel like his heart has beat since he dragged Oliver from the scene screaming like a mad man. But he had too. The explosion would have the police there soon as there was no explaining their presence. _Ever the soldier; the mission came first; God help him_.

He glances at Oliver, who has not spoken since yesterday, sitting on a stool staring at one of Felicity's monitors. On it was her Pintrest page where she was compiling a list of all the gadgets and gizmos she wanted to upgrade the Lair. John looked at the screen and knew Oliver would have no idea what the individual items were, but it was like looking at Felicity. The Page was rambling and erratic; there was no conformity to it; flittering from one idea to another; just as if her talent for babbling had manifested on the page.

John can tell Oliver was crying; broken; his shoulders were slumped and they shook with the silent sobs. Tears fell on the ground unheeded. Ever so often John would see Oliver wipe his face to clear his vision so he could continue staring at the pink display. _Who'd have ever thought a babbling little IT girl would bring down the city's greatest hero._ John looks back to his screen researching another lead.

Oliver feels himself breaking and looks away for a fraction of a second and spots Felicity's mp3 player. It's just a little thing; hot pink against the stark gray and black of the lair. Slowly as if his arms were suddenly made of lead he lifts his hand and picks one hot pink earbud and puts it to his ear. His presses play without looking at the list...a soft deep tone fills his ears and the soft voice soon fills his soul.

_Wrap me in a bolt of lightning_  
_Send me on my way still smiling_  
_Maybe that's the way I should go,_  
_Straight into the mouth of the unknown_  
_I left the spare key on the table_  
_Never really thought I'd be able_  
_To say I merely visit on the weekends_  
_I lost my whole life and a dear friend_

_I've said it so many times_  
_I would change my ways_  
_No, nevermind_  
_God knows I've tried_

_[Chorus:]_  
_Call me a sinner, call me a saint_  
_Tell me it's over I'll still love you the same_  
_Call me your favorite, call me the worst_  
_Tell me it's over I don't wan't you to hurt_  
_It's all that I can say. So, I'll be on my way_

John looks over at the sound from Oliver and sees him visibly shaking now as he doesn't even try to hide his anguish. Oliver's mind comes to pristine focus: She loved all of him. She saw all of him; even the parts he didn't. He looks down at the player and sees she has it preset to repeat this song indefinitely.

_I finally put it all together,_  
_Nothing really lasts forever_  
_I had to make a choice that was not mine,_  
_I had to say goodbye for the last time_  
_I kept my whole life in a suitcase,_  
_Never really stayed in one place_  
_Maybe that's the way it should be,_  
_You know I've led my life like a gypsy_

_I've said it so many times_  
_I would change my ways_  
_No, nevermind_  
_God knows I've tried_

_[Chorus:]_  
_Call me a sinner, call me a saint_  
_Tell me it's over I'll still love you the same_  
_Call me your favorite, call me the worst_  
_Tell me it's over I don't wan't you to hurt_  
_It's all that I can say. So, I'll be on my way_

_I'll always keep you inside, you healed my_  
_Heart and my life... And you know I tried._

_[Chorus:]_  
_Call me a sinner, call me a saint_  
_Tell me it's over I'll still love you the same_  
_Call me your favorite, call me the worst_  
_Tell me it's over I don't wan't you to hurt_  
_It's all that I can say. So, I'll be on my way_  
_So, I'll be on my way_  
_So, I'll be on my way_

Oliver's mind is a scramble of a thousand thoughts at once. All of her. Snippets from when they first meet to memories of all the times he'd saved her. All the times he'd pushed her away in a selfish attempt to keep her safe; breaking her heart. But she'd stayed. When she convinced him he was more than a killer. And then now, this mission, when again he'd swore he'd keep her save and she still looked at him with unabashed trust. He thought of how her unwavering faith in him had sustained him. Even as he continued to keep her at arms reach. He was a fool. He was no saint; but she called him "Hero".

The door above closes and footsteps descend the stairs. Roy must be back from -"Do you know how hard it is to get here w/ no money and no phone and w/ the entire city out of power. Not my fault, by the way. I mean I did blow all the power in the city once when I was setting up the foundry, but that was a lesson learned I don't care to ever repeat. So, anyone hungry-"

Oliver looked up instantly at the sound of her voice and in huge strides walked over and enveloped her in a hug engulfing her entire slight frame. He brought his head down to her shoulder, which is hard to do when your more then a foot taller then her. He begins to shake and she realizes how much her absence affected him. "Shush. Its ok. Its ok. I'm fine. See." Oliver pulls away to inspect her; keeping his hands on her shoulders; caressing them with his thumbs. She gently wipes his tears away. "I'm fine". Oliver nods still unable to speak. He looks her up from head to toe. She is a mess.

Her hair is a halo or bright yellow curls and there is dirt and leaves everywhere. Here shoes are missing and there is blood on her knees. Her pretty pink flirty dress is torn up to the waist on one side exposing the entire length of one of her legs. There is a bruise on her cheek. But her eyes. Her eyes were still bright and shining and completely focused. She was fine.

"I can't be without you. Not again. Never again. You have to know. I will be whatever you want or need. I just need you. Don't give up on me. I need your faith. I'm selfish and cruel and broken, but I an lost without you. completely lost. I can't say I won't stop trying to keep you safe even if you don't like my methods, but I will never let you leave me." Oliver's continues to ramble as his hands rub up and down her arms and pulls back just to look in her eyes; to see her face again and be assured it's her. He sees the tears in her eyes shining and leans down to kiss her tracks of her tears on her cheeks. "I love you. And I want to be with you." Oliver says against her cheeks.

Felicity tilts her face and gently kisses his lips. "Yes". Oliver heart begins to beat again for the first time in what feels like forever. His hands cup her face and he claims her mouth in a passionate gently kiss.

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**A/N:  _ This might be a One Shot. I removed the 'smut'...maybe to be something added to this later or something else entirely. For now I am calling this complete. Please - FEEDBACK - it is the life blood of a Fic Writer and I am not immune to it's draw. Leave me some love._**


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